on wanting a simple wedding

Some ruminations on things I'm learning in this age-old practice of Making a Wedding. (Seriously, can I put "Planned my wedding" on my resume when I'm done?)

Simple is not a breezy heirloom dress, not a homegrown menu, not a handmade font, not a casual hairstyle, not a modest guest list.  Simple is not an aesthetic, or a fashion, or a chic way to design your wedding.  It's a state of mind.  It means having one voice in your head -- yours and your loved one's -- not yours and all of your friends' and a magazine's and the chatter of several dozen blogs (pleasant though that chatter may be).  It means if you want a ball gown and a barbecue because that's what lights you up, then you do it.

What about a wedding is simple?  Orchestrating two entire families?  Wanting to make everyone happy?   Starting a new life?  Embarking on something you've never known with someone whom, in the grand scheme of things, you are only beginning to know?  Compared to that, even a fireworks show and a parade of acrobats could be simple.

If you have your heart set on a simple wedding and then it gets complicated and you get stressed because, as it turns out, it's quite complicated to make everything perfectly simple...remember that a wedding is a big, beautiful, profoundly complicated rite, and if it isn't all simple and effortless and lovely, it's because it's more than that.

"This mystery is great..." (Ephesians 5:32)


  1. This is such a good, post, Sarah. I seriously want to print it out and keep it just in case I get married five billion years in the future. When I hear about friends planning their weddings and how complicated it is I alwas think, "My wedding will be simple!" But you're right-- a wedding isn't a simple, easy, breezy thing. It means a lot, and maybe it can't be totally simple, at least not in the way that I imagined.
    I bet your wedding is going to be beautiful.